Uncle Glerp! #5
Take off
PAGE ONE
SUMMARY: Hank Spangler is obsessive compulsive. The slightest deviation from his daily ritual causes him panic and ignites his fevered imagination. So when a bizarre monster from outer space arrives at the front door of the Spangler home, interrupting Hank’s routine, he is unable to distinguish fact from fantasy. Especially when the green, multi-tentacle creature is introduced to him as his UNCLE GLERP.
PAGES TWO & THREE
Spread: Exterior -- SPANGLER HOUSE. The sun is shining. It’s a beautiful morning. Glerp’s car is parked askew on the Spangler front lawn — in rose bushes or some kind of shrubbery.
PAGE FOUR
Panel 1: Interior -- SPANGLER LIVING ROOM. Hank, in a sleeping bag on the couch, is startled awake by loud noises.
SFX: Ka-Klang! Kunk! Kunk! Screee! Toom!
TIME CAPTION: Tuesday.
Panel 2: Hank kicks away his sleeping bag.
Panel 3: STAIRCASE. Glerp rushes down stairs carrying boxes and trunks. His spidery legs poking around.
GLERP: Time to go! Time to go.
PAGE FIVE
Panel 1: FOYER. There’s a pile of luggage by the front door.
Panel 2: One of Glerp’s trunks pops open.
Panel 3: Like a Jack-in-the-box toy, a robot head springs up from the open trunk.
Panel 4: Glerp stuffs the robot head back inside.
PAGE SIX
Panel 1: Mom enters the foyer.
MOM:You sure you can’t stay a little longer?
Panel 2: Glerp tosses boxes and suitcases out the front door.
GLERP: Gotta go.
Panel 3: Hank joins them.
MOM: Say goodbye to Uncle Glerp, sweetheart.
HANK: Goo--
DAD(off panel): GLERP!
PAGE SEVEN
Panel 1: Dad arrives, teary-eyed.
DAD: Don’t go!
Panel 2: Glerp wraps tentacles around Dad, brings him in for a hug.
GLERP: Hey, bub! I’ll be back. Sheesh.
Panel 3: Glerp remembers something. Reaches into a pouch inside his chest
GLERP: Ooooh.
PAGE EIGHT
Panel 1: Glerp pulls up a (drippy) framed photograph from his pouch. (like a kangaroo pouch)
Panel 2: Glerp offers the slimy photograph to Dad. It’s drippy, but Dad takes it anyway.
Panel 3: The photo makes Dad smile.
Panel 4: Dad shows the photo to Mom.
DAD: Remember this one?
PAGE NINE
Panel 1: Mom rubs Dad’s arm. Dad wipes away a tear. Hank looks at them, confused.
MOM (to Dad): You both look so handsome. Young, too.
Panel 2: PHOTO INSERT. There are two guys in the picture, two human guys—TWINS! One of the twins looks like Dad, with more hair. The other twin looks like Dad, too. Hank’s finger points at the twin wearing Glerp’s hat and bowtie.
HANK (off panel): That’s Glerp?
PAGE TEN
Panel 1: Dad and Glerp lock eyes, smile, point at each other. Laughing.
Panel 2: Glerp takes off his hat.
GLERP: I’m the twin with the hat. Obviously.
DAD: Glerp wears a hat so folks can tell us apart.
Panel 3: Glerp waves his hat.
GLERP: That’s not the only reason. (beat) This lid helps me keep my crazy thoughts from gushing out and spewing all over everybody.
MOM: Eew.
Panel 4: Glerp winks at Hank.
GLERP: It’s kinda like Einstein’s switch.
PAGE ELEVEN
Panel 1: Hank holds out his hand to shake one of Glerp’s tentacles.
HANK: It was good to meet you, sir.
Panel 2: Glerp wraps a tentacle around Hank’s hand and arm. With another tentacle, Glerp places his hat on Hank’s head. Another tentacle picks up the last suitcase. Another holds onto the doorknob. Hank winces. Not good with hugs or people putting something on his head.
Panel 3: Hank, w/ hat on head, looks uncomfortable.
PAGE TWELVE
VARIOUS PANELS: Glerp’s whole body ripples. His horns sink back into his head. His tongue slides up into his mouth. His tentacles shrink until they completely disappear.
NOTE: When Hank is wearing Glerp’s hat, he sees things as they really are.
PAGE THIRTEEN
Panel 1: Glerp has morphed into a human, a perfect replica of Hank’s dad. The only difference—one of them is wearing a bowtie.
HUMAN GLERP: I’m really gonna miss you guys.
Panel 2: Hank takes off the hat.
Panel 3: Glerp looks like an alien creature again.
PAGE FOURTEEN
Panel 1: Glerp waves a tentacle as he exits the house.
GLERP:Toodles.
Panel 2: Dad stares at the front door, his shoulders slumped.
Panel 3: Hank attempts to comfort his father.
HANK: It’s gonna be okay, Dad.
PAGE FIFTEEN
Panel 1: Hank imagines his bedroom completely wrecked by Glerp and his robots. Thought balloon shows Hank’s room as a total disaster.
Panel 2: HANK’S BEDROOM. It isn’t a disaster. It’s clean and tidy. And on the bed: Two VR visors and an envelope.
PAGE SIXTEEN
Panel 1: Envelope reads: “Property of Henry Glenn Spangler”
Panel 2: Hank reads the note inside.
Panel 3: THE NOTE reads: “Nephew, I programmed these VR visors just for you. Smooches, Y’r ever-lovin’ uncle Glerp”
PAGE SEVENTEEN
Panel 1: Hank puts on the VR visor.
Panel 2: VIRTUAL REALITY BEGINS - A hospital with doctors, nurses, and storks (w/ stethoscopes) standing around a hallway.
PAGE EIGHTEEN
Panel 1: Down the hallway, in the pale distance, young versions of Dad and his twin (human Glerp w/ hat) are admiring something on the other side of a large plate-glass window.
Panel 2: Human Glerp and Dad are looking at newborn babies on display.
HUMAN GLERP: Aww, look at ’em. Cuute.
PAGE NINETEEN
Panel 1: Human Glerp points at one of the babies behind the glass.
HUMAN GLERP: That him?
DAD: That’s my boy.
Panel 2: Human Glerp turns to Dad.
HUMAN GLERP: Got a name yet?
DAD:We thought we’d name him after you.
Panel 3: Dad snickers as Human Glerp slaps his forehead.
HUMAN GLERP: Glerp? Oh gosh, don’t do that to the boy.
DAD: No. I meant Glenn. Your real name.
PAGE TWENTY
Panel 1: Human Glerp turns to Dad.
HUMAN GLERP: Doesn’t look much like a Glenn.
DAD: Who does?
Panel 2: Human Glerp puts a finger to his mouth.
HUMAN GLERP: Looks more like a Dave or a...Hank.
Panel 3: Dad beams.
DAD: Hank! I like it.
PAGE TWENTY-ONE
Panel 1: Tiny pixelated squares break up the VR scene.
Panel 2: A black screen with topic titles comes up.
Title on screen: WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO NOW?
Topics:
--HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HANK
--TRIP TO SPACE
--UNDER THE SEA
--COWBOY STUFF
--FUN!FUN!FUN!
--QUIET PLACE
EMERGENCY TUESDAY BONUS:
--SPAGHETTI NIGHT
VIRTUAL REALITY ENDS
Panel 3: HANK’S BEDROOM. Hank, smiling, removes the VR visor.
PAGE TWENTY-TWO
Panel 1: FOYER. The front doorbell rings. Ding dong! Hank, wearing his new pork pie hat, is excited.
TIME CAPTION 1: Two weeks later.
TIME CAPTION 2: A Tuesday.
HANK:There’s someone at the front door!
HANK’S FANTASY
Panel 2 (b/w, no border): Hank imagines Uncle Glerp at the door.
GLERP: I’m back! For good this time.
FANTASY ENDS
Panel 3: Hank opens the door.
PAGE TWENTY-THREE
Panel 1: Hank’s uncle is not at the door. Though the visitor does look extraterrestrial. It’s scaly and lizard-like, and its teeth are crocodile sharp and plentiful. There’s a third arm/hand shooting up from the top of its head. And this monster’s t-shirt has a smiley face with tongue out and angry eyes.
HANK: JEFF!!
Panel 2: The dark slit pupils in Jeff’s yellow eyes jut to one side. He scrunches his long, slender snout.
ALIEN JEFF: Nice hat, noodlebrain.
Panel 3: Hank takes off his pork pie hat.
HANK: It is pretty cool.
Panel 4: Jeff looks like a normal human now.
PAGE TWENTY-FOUR
Panel 1: Hank (hat back on head) yanks alien Jeff into the foyer and yells:
HANK: MOM!!! Jeff is staying for spaghetti tonight. Okay?
MOM (off panel): Okay, sweetie.
Panel 2: Hank pushes alien Jeff up the stairs.
HANK: Know anything about virtual reality?
Panel 3: Alien Jeff scoffs.
ALIEN JEFF: Get real.
PAGE TWENTY-FIVE
Panel 1: UPSTAIRS. Hank opens the door to his bedroom and allows alien Jeff to enter first.
HANK: No schedule today. Anything goes.
ALIEN JEFF: Dude, you think it’s fun watching you freak out?
Panel 2: Hank closes the bedroom door.
HANK:What if I didn’t freak out, even once?
Panel 3: Alien Jeff is skeptical.
ALIEN JEFF:Uh-huh.
Panel 4: Hank places the VR visor over alien Jeff’s eyes.
HANK: Let’s see who freaks out first.
PAGE TWENTY-SIX
Full page: VIRTUAL REALITY WORLD. Hank and Jeff are deep underwater (mesopelagic zone), surrounded by spectacular aquatic plants and strange, wondrous sea creatures. The boys have fish tails, fins, and scales.
JEFF: Dude! We’re fish!
THE END
Uncle Glerp! © Mark Scott Ricketts
This project is dedicated to spaghetti night. Mangia!
Too early for me. But it is Tuesday.
Bring back Uncle Glerp!